A Celebration of Love

This post is a celebration of love, but also, in the waning days of my unmarriedhood, a kind of retrospective, a re-cap of highlights from my love life, and a thank you note. Aside from my career, one of things of which I am most proud are the people in my life who I have loved and been loved by (as well as those with whom I have just liked a whole heck of a lot).

First of all, love's the only thing that changes us. I figured this out by being a person and by being a social worker and since social workers are in the business of helping people change you should consider my pespective most seriously. Whether it's the love of a parent or a friend or a lover, the people we let love us are the only ones who get that all-access pass, to whom we can admit how wrong, or crazy or ugly we are and to whom we listen when they tell us how it might be otherwise.

First, there was Jamar, who changed me from heterosexual to queer. Then, Cameron, who changed me from judgemental to curious. Sean changed me from maybe to definitely, Abby changed me from vegetable to mineral.

Then there are those who I've just liked a whole heckuva lot, instead of changing me, I got stuff from them. For example, Sadie gave me a clue, and Dru gave me another one. Ebone gave me shine, Dina gave me sweetness, Emily gave me sea legs, Anna gave me butterflies, and Ara gave me my groove back. Stacy gave me easiness and Brandi so much fun.

Then, of course, there's Lauren. As I wrangle with my ideas, I realize she hasn't changed or given me anything at all. There's been no struggle, no push or pull, to accept or let go of any part of myself, and there hasnt been something missing that she's swoped in to provide. She digs the parts of me I already like best and instead of giving me things I don't have, let's me come over to look at all her cool stuff. Hers is the easiest, most passionate relationship I've ever had and the most reliable love. It's fun to bicker and fuss with her, I love the way we play. I've never played so much with a partner. She's as devoted and dogged as me, as sweet and as smart. Even her glitches interest me, but best of all, and for the first time, I'm experiencing what it's like to have faith in the person I love.

Above you will find, right smack dab in the middle, Lauren and I at New Year's, me with a strawberry, Sadie being captivating, Stacy taking it easy (with Miasia), Brandi being sassy, Dina basking in some rare sweetness, me taking a shot with Emily (back when I thought being gay meant getting drunk and wearing bandanas), Ebone performing, Sean and I at Kate's a wedding, Abby and I at a different Kate's a wedding, Anna flirting with everthing that moves and some things that dont, and, finally, Jamar in a subway station many years after the fact.

This concludes my celebration of love, like and Lauren.

Happy Valentine's Day!