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When I decided that I didnt want bridesmaids, its mostly because I thought this is what bridesmaids looked like. Plus, I want to indenture my friends to six months of servitude throwing showers and picking up flowers about as much as I want to drop a grand on flowers and presents for them. Plus, I've been graced by a number of powerful female friendships which would leave me with no fewer than ten bridesmaids, while Lauren would only want her sisters to stand for her, if she was to have bridesmaids at all, which she doesnt, because she doesnt want to have "that kind of wedding". Last, but not least my ten women have wildly different body shapes and sizes, not to mention a wide variety of personal styles. The headache of finding that one dress for them all, combined with the image of ten ladies on my side and Lauren's two, made the idea of bridesmaids just totally dumb.
Then, I started to feel a little wistful, because I really do want the special women in my life to be more than guests when I get married. And surely a talented photographer can snap shots of a group of women rather than a bifurcated line. Then I saw a great photo of non-matching bridesmaids dresses on Loaf's blog. Then I talked to Lauren's little sister, Shelby Ann, who wondered why on earth I cared what Lauren wanted and promised to do whatever I told her to do. Then, truly liberated, dare I say bridesmaid inspired, I did a google search and found the mother of all non-matching bridesmaid dress compendiums. Now, I'm pretty committed to the idea. I think a mixture of prints and solids really makes the concept work and I'm leaning towards a palette of blues -- navy, baby, sky, teal, royal, cornflower, whatever -- because blue is Lauren's favorite color. (I mean, ya know, I'll toss her a bone or two in this whole process.)
I think the take home message is: dont throw the bridesmaid out with the bouquet. Pinpoint aspects of certain traditions you don't like and then change those aspects. Beautiful portraits of me and the souls on Earth dearest to me? Yes. Ten french twists and ten french manicures? No.
13 comments:
ya know, it's not written anywhere that you have to have women. deborah is having "best people" --- two guys, two gals.
yay for subverting tradition and coming up with more fabulous results! what great photos. i've stressed a bit over whether my bridesmaids' non-matching but all teal-blueish dresses would clash, but after seeing these photos i'm reassured. and we also have men and women on both 'sides' of our wedding party. i have a female friend who dresses butch walking me down the aisle and my fiance has a female friend in a dress walking him.
Great post, especially that last paragraph. (You'd certainly earn a lace on your own blogroll, right?)
I didn't want to have bridesmaids either. The idea of asking grown women to wear the same dress seems really peculiar to me. In any other situation you think it's a nightmare if you turn up at a party in the same dress as someone else!
I really liked those photos you shared here of non-matching bridesmaids, though. In the end I decided to have my little sister as my best woman and my youngest brother as my best man. Then on our website we're mentioning that some people are wearing jewel tones to see how many people join in.
yay for desaray wanting to have a "variety" of bridesmaids!! (or possibly having the idea of including loved ones into the ceremony)
Very excited ladies :)
I think that's a great idea. Most of the time, the bridesmaids hate the dress that's been chosen for them. Just choose your women and let them pick their own dresses or outfits maybe within a color range. Are you going with shades of blue? Is Butter in the wedding party? Lots of couples put the dog right in there!
Ms. Bussell! Invite me to read your blog!
NO DOGS ALLOWED
Glad I could help! I know I am glad to have my friends participate in some way.
Hi Desaray!!
Quick comment: I did have friends in my wedding (I dont even know if I will call them bridesmaids, bc its so cliche) and I told them to wear whatever in the world they wanted too (even when they protested for me to tell them something!)...So they came in their best dresses and they looked wonderful! They walked down the isle with a small bustle of some fresh flowers (not a big normal kind of bouquet) and then sat down in one of the aisles (so it wouldnt look like a herd up by my and jonathan). I got SO many compliments on doing it that way, because the ladies truly looked their best in their own attire and my friends were appreciative. Just a thought and enoucouragement that is can be done! Honor your friends without yucky bridesmaids stuff :)
Anyways, Hope you are doing well and settling into the new job...
Heather
"When I decided that I didnt want bridesmaids, its mostly because I thought this is what bridesmaids looked like."
Who said what bridesmaids look like? By who's definition. Who made this tradition? The Dingmoonment of two wonferful, beautiful amazing women is itself a celebration of bucking "traditional" conceptions.
Don't start bending now. This is YOUR DAY. Make it your own.
P.S. Furthermore, in the same boat as you I had been having discussions not too long ago about how I would handle the 10 bridesmaids thing. I say go for it, just change up the traditional line up--literally. I had some ideas of having my ladies come down the aisle two by two. Then split and post up in corners of the room in twos or right at the corner of the aisles, framing my ceremony, my circle (or really octagon)of support.
Then you wouldn't have to worry about lopsided representation. So many ways to make it work...if you both agree of course, lol.
I really don't want you to regret not doing something cause you think it may not be what is typically done.
P.S. I'm all about the different dresses that complement each bridesmaids bodies, in the same color, or shades of.
P.S. I agree with Shelby--who cares what Lolo wants, I got your back :)
LOVE,
Koko
I also really love the brides dress. Does anyone know what designer or where it is from?
Thank you!
I love the wedding dress...LOVE it! Anyone know where it is from?
Where is the dress from???
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