An Escape Honeymoon is one that requires as little planning, as little saving and as little decision-making as possible. Also, you must board a plane within 12-16 hours of saying I do, truly "escape" from the stress of not only your life, but the wedding hoopla, too. Once you arrive on your Escape Honeymoon, you do nothing but sit on a beach chair and read Buddhist texts. No language classes, no site seeing, no clubbing, really, but certainly not more than 50 feet from your bed. All of your everything is paid for. And, in the case of Olivia, every heterosexual within 5 miles is being paid to be nice to you.
Our Escape Honeymoon would be a resort in the Caribbean care of a cruise and travel company that caters to gay women called Olivia. They put together resort packages where they take over a place for a week, hire lesbian comedians, actors, and sports stars, then pack the rooms with their customers, thusly populating world-class resorts with middle-aged lady-lovers who will coo over us sweet, young newlyweds and give us lots of drunken marriage advice.
The company makes this whole thing financially very easy, too, by pricing their least expensive package at $1500.00, giving discounts for early booking, providing a payment plan option, and offering a discount if you host a house party to advertise their wares.
Unfortunately, right now, they dont have any vacations scheduled for June or August 2009, so that can't help me make a decision about the wedding date. Also, The Escape Honeymoon is Lauren's ideal honeymoon, but to me it feels kinda . . . lazy. Don't get me wrong, though -- I'm really open it to, if only for the sheer sociological fascination of seeing a place like the Turkoise Club Med Resort packed to the gills with hundreds of gay women for 6 nights and 7 days. I mean, really, can you imagine the energy, excitment and good will oozing from every pore of every woman who is just so grateful to be on a tropical island and be almost positive that no one is going to try to kill them?
2 days ago
3 comments:
I really think you would LOVE a "lazy" honeymoon. I loved or lazy honeymoon, and we will had the option of doing stuff off the resort, like visiting other beaches out of town, going shopping, biking, snorkeling, etc. I vote lazy. Lazy is good and you will need it after all the planning.
ps - thanks for updating your blog so often that it provides me daily procrastination pleasure at work.
contact a gay travel agency they may have other gay cruises besides olivia
Holy crap - I'd love a lazy vacation!
Doing tourist-y things and having to make friends with strangers is exhausting and it actually stresses me out.
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